my heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me. fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. and i say, “oh, that i had wings like a dove! i would fly away and be at rest; [ps 55:4-6]
most of our life we are taught to be “strong”, to rely only on ourselves, and worst of all, that we must not express pain and sorrow to the Lord. i was told, “bring your best to the Lord”. i witnessed people put on a front or a “church face” when around other believers. i don’t necessarily disagree with all of these sentiments (context does matter.) the problem is that life can be really difficult, really hard, and even defeating.
so what are we to do with this?
what a blessing it is to see david expose his heart to God.
for my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away. [psalm 31:10]
i am weary with my moaning; every night i flood my bed with tears; i drench my couch with my weeping. [psalm 6:6]
what we see in david is a man who was greatly troubled. who made many mistakes of no small degree. just to name a few: adultery with bathsheba, having uriah killed, abusing his power, lacking self control, and many more. the choices that he made, the sin that was committed had earthly and heavenly consequences. we see a man who had many sorrows, and one that had great faith. most of these passages of sorrow and brutal honesty were followed by great desperation and faith in the Lord!
but i call to God, and the Lord will save me. evening and morning and at noon i utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice. he redeems my soul in safety from the battle that i wage, for many are arrayed against me. [psalm 55:16-18]
but i trust in you, o Lord; i say, “you are my God.” [psalm 31:14]
depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. the Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer. [psalm 6:8-9]
what i have learned from david is that fear, pain, and sorrow don’t have to coincide with unbelief. in most cases, it fuels a deeper conviction and belief. while david felt much pain, he also held onto the truth of God’s promises!
my challenge for you today is to be honest with God. expose your heart, expose your pain, struggles, and moaning. while you do this, hold fast to God’s promises. pray for conviction, for a deeper love and faith in him. we have a father who wants us to trust him and believe him. how can we do that if we can’t be honest with him?
I’ve been greatly blessed to write for in the presence of God for a short time. i’m thankful for the encouragement i have received and for the opportunity to grow in faith through this. there has been nothing that has consistently challenged me to dig into the word, to abide in Christ, to be desperate for him and his mercy than this resource. my last piece of encouragement is, don’t pass up on an opportunity where God has opened the door. you may never fully understand how he plans to shape you with it.
– joe lorsung
[reminder: the presence writings will end on tuesday, december 31st. it has been our pleasure to serve the body of Christ with these writings. our prayer: that we would continue to learn to engage the presence of God every day, in every moment, and in every setting.]